


a soft revolution

by 9crimes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post S2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9crimes/pseuds/9crimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She says goodbye to Bellamy and she walks away. She walks and walks and walks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a soft revolution

**Author's Note:**

> rating will change in future chapters (you really think i'd write a fic with no smut?)

She says goodbye to Bellamy and she walks away. She walks and walks and walks.

The first night, she doesn’t sleep. She sits beneath a tree, legs pulled into her chest, and she thinks, she finally can just...think. She thinks about everything she’s done since she closed the dropship door.

Soon she’s talking aloud, relaying to herself and the forest around her all the things she could have done differently, then arguing with herself about the outcomes. _What if you hadn’t killed Finn? Well if you hadn’t killed Finn you and everyone you love would be dead right now, you idiot._

When she remembers Bellamy telling her they were wasting time with politics, that they didn’t need the alliance, she laughs. She laughs so hard her stomach hurts and then she cries because how was she supposed to know? How was she supposed to know what would happen?

Once she starts crying she doesn’t stop. It’s ugly and it’s loud and it’s freeing.

Mostly she’s so glad she left, so glad she’s alone.

 

* * *

 

Bellamy tells Abby first. She starts giving orders and calling for a search party. She knew Clarke would go, he realizes, and she’d already formed a plan. Kane, though, still by her side holding onto her hand tightly, gives her a tight smile and a single shake of the head, leans down to whisper something that makes Abby’s face turn from desperate anguish to hard stone.

She doesn’t look at him again. Kane claps him on the shoulder, tells him to get some rest, there’s something he’d like them to discuss in the morning.

After that he heads to the section of apartments that have been assigned to the kids whose parents didn’t survive the ark’s journey to earth.

On his way he passes Clarke’s apartment. She stayed there all of 3 nights, maybe, but still. He thinks about going in, seeing what’s left of her, if anything.

He reaches for the doorknob but instead ends up bracing his weight on the frame and resting his head in the crook of his elbow.

That’s how Octavia finds him.

“Bellamy?” he lifts his head to see her looking at him with concern and a little suspicion.

“Figures I’d find you here. Where is she?” Octavia’s voice is tense and he thinks about the 8 hour walk, thinks about how she never once even looked Clarke’s way.

“She’s gone” he says and goddamnit, even he can hear the sadness in his voice.

A flash of something passes through Octavia’s eyes, hurt he thinks. It’s gone just as quickly as it appeared and she’s scoffing.

“Typical” she grits out, then a scathing “You’re not gonna be pathetic about this are you?”

He clenches his jaw and rolls his eyes but really he’s so fucking glad she’s here. He’s not sure how long it’ll last, but he’s missed her pointed honesty, the way she sees right through him and doesn’t hesitate to call him out.

“What do you want, O?” He sighs.

“Nothing. I was coming to look for Clarke actually. I wanted to….” She shakes her head. “Well anyways, it doesn’t matter now. She left”.

He just nods, pulls her into his arms and drops a kiss on her forehead as they make their way through the corridor towards the section where their friends are.

He gathers all the kids who are alert and well enough to move into the largest apartment. He’s surprised when Miller walks in, assuming he’d stay with his father, but then he sits right between Monty and Harper, placing a hand on Harper’s knee and a casual arm on the back of Monty’s chair, and Bellamy gets it. There’s a bond between all of them now, a bond he’s not a part of.

There’s surprise and sadness and even a little anger when he tells them about Clarke leaving, but when he tells them about Finn and the alliance and then the end of the alliance...he thinks they understand. At least, as much as they’ll ever be able to.

He spends the rest of the night answering their questions, filling them in on whatever they want to know, and then checking and double checking to make sure everyone has been looked after, make sure they’re all comfortable. He hunts down pillows and blankets and changes of clothes. When the sun rises he bangs on the head of kitchen staff’s door and reminds him that he has 42 extra mouths to feed, better get started.

There’s a tightness in his chest that he doesn’t think is going anywhere for awhile, but when he walks into the cafeteria the next morning and Miller calls his name, waving him over to sit with him and his father and Monty and Harper, he feels it get just a little lighter.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke walks aimlessly for a few days, talking to herself sometimes, just enjoying the silence most of the time.

She realizes she’s walking in circles on day 3 when she sees Camp Jaha in the distance. Part of her wants to walk towards it, at least try for a day or so and see what happens.

Then she thinks about the look on Bellamy’s face when she told him she couldn’t go inside, the way his freckles looked up close when she’d kissed him, and she knows she’d never be able to leave again if she wanted to. It was hard enough the first time.

Clouds are rolling in, though, and the air is chilly enough that she suspects a snowfall soon. She needs to start thinking practically.

She turns her back to Camp Jaha, for the second time, and walks towards Lincoln’s cave. He has weapons there, a ready-made fire-pit, utensils for cooking and eating.

When she makes it to the cave she grabs a knife and heads out to hunt. She returns with 2 hares and a large assortment of nuts and berries. It’s not much but it’s enough to last a few days, which she spends thinking through what she’ll do next. She doesn’t particularly want to stay in Lincoln’s cave, though it is comfortable. It’s too close to camp, and there’s always the chance someone (Octavia, Lincoln….Bellamy) would come here and find her.

Then, she remembers TonDC. Her mother was helping the wounded there, but now...well, that’s not going to be happening. She wonders what they’d say, if she showed up there.

Only one way to find out, she thinks.

 

* * *

 

 Kane asks him to take over as Head of Security. He’s completely overwhelmed at first, but dives right in and it turns out he’s pretty good at it. He’s still learning what exactly _it_ is, but. So far, it’s all come natural.

The gig also includes a spot on the council. Which, not quite his speed. Still, it’s a good opportunity to make sure his people aren’t being looked over, make sure they have a voice. Abby stares a hole in his head every time he refers to the kids as ‘his people’, but he just stares right back and dares her to challenge him.

He hears Clarke’s voice in his head constantly _‘take care of them for me’_.

He thinks he’s doing a pretty damn good job.

 

* * *

 

 When Clarke arrives in TonDC she’s greeted by nothing but stares and whispers. They all recognize her, of course, and they all seem to know what happened at the mountain. She supposes they expect her to be looking for revenge after the betrayal.

“I’d like to see Indra, please” she tells a young woman in trigadesleng, and it’s odd to talk to another person after days of only talking to herself.

The woman nods and leads her to a large tent.

Indra doesn’t waste time with questions or pleasantries and Clarke appreciates it.

“What do you want, Clarke of the Sky People?”

“I want to stay here. I want to help. I have some medical training, but I can apprentice under your healer to learn your ways -” she had practiced a speech about how she could be an asset to the village, but finds her mind going blank under Indra’s knowing stare. She hadn’t considered that perhaps Indra wouldn’t be as forgiving of her as she was of The Commander. Her village had been destroyed, after all, and she couldn’t blame Lexa. Clarke would make a good target.

“You wish to pay a debt for your sins. I understand” Indra says shrewdly. Clarke wants to protest, say she couldn’t possibly atone for her multitude of sins, but Indra holds up her hand to silence her.

“Your mother’s exit from our camp was rather...unceremonious” Clarke’s fists tighten when she thinks of her mother chained up in Mt. Weather, strapped to the extraction table. She forces herself to incline her head towards Indra.

“She left behind her tools. Tools she was to use to help us...rehabilitate our fallen brothers in the Mountain”.

The reapers.

Clarke regards Indra silently for a moment, seeing through the woman’s tough exterior for what may be the first time. She seems sad, as close to desperate as she thinks a woman as strong and dedicated to the Warrior Lifestyle as Indra is can be. Perhaps she had a brother, or a son, or even a husband in those tunnels.

She thinks about the things she’s done for the ones she loves. She thinks about the people she’s killed, the pain she’s caused.

“Let me help” Clarke says without hesitation “I was with my mother, when she healed Lincoln. I saw how she did it. Let me help heal them”.

Indra’s face remains stoic but Clarke notices her shoulders slump a bit, as if a burden has been lifted. Still, there’s something holding her back from accepting Clarke’s offer.

“I will help you heal your fallen brothers, and in return you will...give me shelter. And food” Clarke lifts her chin, playing at being much more demanding that she’s really feeling right now.

She can’t help the small smile that crosses her lips when Indra gives her a curt nod and makes sure to tell her the offer of food and lodging is dependent on the quality of her services.

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy starts sleeping with Lysa 6 months after Clarke leaves.

It’s casual, like all the sex he’s ever had in his life, but she knows the score and he doesn’t feel like he’s taking advantage.

They meet when he notices Haven, one of the younger girls, is quickly outgrowing all her clothes. Lysa is apparently the best seamstress on the ground, so he goes to her for help. She’s good, and she likes helping, so he keeps going to her whenever one of the kids needs new clothes or mending.

Turns out teenagers go through clothes pretty fast, between the growth spurts and the clumsiness and the being-total-idiots, and eventually he starts sticking around while she works, talking about everything and nothing.

He finds out she’s 2 years older than him, that she was married and that her husband didn’t survive the Ark’s journey to earth. She remembers his mother, as her mother was also a seamstress on the Ark.

She’s a brunette, tall, willowy.

Nothing like Clarke.

(Which isn’t important. It’s just. A Fact. )

When she kisses him, he pulls away and apologizes all the way to the door, then curses himself all the way to his apartment.

He makes the mistake of telling Octavia about it the next day when she raises an eyebrow at the smile-grimace he sends Lysa’s way at breakfast.

“Bell!” she shrieks and punches his arm “You’re such a _disaster oh my GOD_ ”.

Bellamy frowns and rubs at his arm, but doesn’t protest because, well, _yea_. He spent pretty much the whole night and morning feeling like The Worst. Lysa is great, has been nothing but kind and helpful. They get along, she makes him laugh, makes him feel almost human. He hates the thought that he may have embarrassed her or hurt her feelings.

“Well?” Octavia breaks his train of thought...pity party...whatever. “Care to explain, big brother?”.

“O” he sighs “I don’t know, ok? It was just...instinct. She kissed me, and my first instinct was to run”.

“Hmmm. Any idea why that may have been your first instinct?” She’s looking at him like she already knows the answer to that question and he knows from experience that there’s no winning with that look. So he just narrows his eyes at her until she sighs and shakes her head.

“Look, I get it. You’re terrible at this stuff. But...maybe this is your chance to finally, once and for all, really get over Clarke, you know?” she’s whispering by the end and he thinks he should feel offended or angry at what she’s insinuating, but he mostly just feels like he’s suffocating. He feels his throat close up, and suddenly the thick fabric of the flannel he’d found in a bunker a few months ago is much too constricting.

“That’s not -” he clears his throat “This isn’t about Clarke, O”.

His voice breaks on her name and he hates himself for it, hates the sympathetic smile Octavia gives him even more.

“Ok. It’s not about her. Even more reason to give it a shot, yea?” She glances towards Lysa before giving his arm a quick squeeze and hurrying out of the cafeteria.

It has nothing to do with Clarke, he repeats to himself.

He repeats it to himself again when he’s walking to Lysa’s apartment later that evening, when he backs her against the door as soon as she lets him in, and when he fucks her on her small cot.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke spends the Winter months going back and forth between TonDC and Mt. Weather, rehabilitating any of the reapers they can find. It’s easier than she thought it would be, being in Mt. Weather again. Cathartic even. She thinks about the irony of that a lot, that she quite literally ran away to avoid all reminders of what she did at Mt. Weather, and going back ended up being exactly what she needed to accept what she’d done.

The tears in Indra’s eyes when she is reunited with her son makes the treks in the snow and the the long nights worth it.

She and the warrior have become friends, of a sort, which Clarke finds out when she is preparing to move on to somewhere new after they’ve done all they can for the reapers in the mountain.

“If you were to stay, I would continue to give you lodging and food. In exchange for your medical services in the village, of course, as you first requested” Indra says, staring at the wall behind Clarke’s head.

“Why?” Clarke can’t help but ask.

Indra looks at her for a moment, then “There is much to see in this world. But you have seen too much already for one so young. You have kindness in your heart, Clarke of the Sky People, which I and my people have benefited from these past months. If you were to stay, I believe it would be a blessing to us all. It is your choice” she finishes with a curt nod.

Clarke stays.

It's nice to feel needed for things as simple as cleaning a kid's scraped up knee instead of, say, being responsible for keeping 100 teenagers alive. It's a nice change of pace and she doesn't regret her decision.

Not until the Spring, anyway. When Bellamy Blake is escorted into her medical tent, face bloodied and torso even bloodier, snarling that he's  _fine, I don't need your goddamn help._

(some things never change)


End file.
